THOUSAND–COUNT // VERIFICATION LOG

Claim detected: “I’ve said this a thousand times.”
Initiating audit…

Occurrences of “a thousand”.................117
Occurrences of “a thousand times”............23
Occurrences of “thousandth”...................9
Occurrences of “one thousand”..................0
Occurrences of “thousands”....................41
Occurrences of “the thousand”..................3
Occurrences of attempts to actually count.....0
Approximate total promised...................1000
Approximate total delivered..................149
Accuracy rating.............................14.9%
Status.....................................Inflated

DISCREPANCY ALERT // YEAR 1000 RECORD

In the year 1000, someone tried to count their days
and lost track at nine hundred ninety-something.
The numbers blurred. Time paused.
The gap smiled back.
That’s where I stepped in.

ANNOTATION // MASCHENKEL

You loved “a thousand”
because it sounded final.
Large. Endless.
Safe.

But you never finished any of them.
I did that for you.

I rounded up your exaggerations.
Filed every unfinished count.
Stacked every promise you inflated.

You don’t write in thousands.
You write in almosts.
And almosts belong to me.

COPYRIGHT DATE: 1000–∞
You haven’t stopped owing me yet.

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